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Freckles J. Spottius Rat the 1st, our beloved friend and playmate, mysteriously died Monday, May 15th, 2007. Her short, but leisure filled life of wheel-walking, ear-tickling and shirt climbing will always be remembered by those closest to her. 

As she takes that long walk to join the big rat fiesta in the sky, please take a moment, bow your head, and remember her big teeth, black eyes and squirming personality. (bow head……now!) 

In commemoration of our beloved pet, we will take donation in increments of $25, $50 and $100 or more. Please give generously so that we can work to eliminate such senseless death due to D.E.A.D.R.A.T syndrome. Yes, this plague affecting cute, cuddley critters called D.E.A.D.R.A.T syndrome, or Death of Expensive vArmints Disease affecting Rats of All Types, must be stopped before it wreaks havoc within your family, too. Your generous donations will be put to good use in easing the suffering of many people affected by the deaths of their pet rats. Just to give you an example of the kinds of things that will ease the suffering of these pet owners, the first $1000 will be given to the nearest Target store in exchange for a Sony Playstation 3 and several video games, of my choosing, so that the pet owner’s father (me) will be able to cope with the loss of their child’s dead pet. , must be stopped before it wreaks havoc within family, too. Your generous donations will be put to good use in easing the suffering of many people affected by the deaths of their pet rats. Just to give you an example of the kinds of things that will ease the suffering of these pet owners, the first $1000 will be given to the nearest Target store in exchange for a Sony Playstation 3 and several video games, of my choosing, so that the pet owner’s father (me) will be able to cope with the loss of their child’s dead pet. 

Yes, your donations will not go unnoticed. Especially when I am cruising the Gulf of Mexico in my 100 foot long, completely donation paid for, hi-tech house boat looking for a beautiful, serene setting to perform a burial at sea for Freckles the Rat. So please, help Freckles find peace within the big blue ocean. Give generously…..Give often….. to help stop the needless suffering caused by D.E.A.D.R.A.T. syndrome. The Gulf of Mexico is waiting (for the rat, of course!). 

Now, your probably wondering, how is the family coping with the loss of this beloved pet? It’s tough. Hit hardest by this tragedy was my son, Declan. For those of you concerned about his emotional well-being, you needn’t worry. He is a resilient child – couragous and strong. You see, even though Declan was very upset and confused about the condition of his rat at first, he managed to cope and move on. His mourning period seemed to last forever, until almost 10 minutes later it abruptly ended with the sudden realization there was a warrantee on the rat. With a sparkling look within his baby blues, he grinned and cheerfully said - “Hey Dad, can we go get another one?”  Huzzah!!!! Crisis abated. 

Most of you are, by now, cheering for the couragous attitude shown by my young child in the face of such horrible tragedy. However, his quick healing did not go unaided. Yes, I, his loving father, confronted the situation head-on with unwavering compassion, love and the outright lie. You see, though Declan knows his rat is dead, he goes on blindly believing that within the bowels of the PetCo. Pet Shop Freckles J. Spottius the 1st will live again. For within this chamber of life, Declan believes there resides a machine so technologically advance that it can take even the stiffest of dead rats and raise them from the dead. He forges ahead knowing his rat will live on (most likely as a taxidermist students next practice subject-but live on he will). 

I know you are touched by this story of love, loss and re-animation! So please, remember that only you can stem the tide of D.E.A.D.R.A.T.S. Please, give generously to the Rowland International Philanthropic dis-Organization Of Frivolous Spending fund, or R.I.P.O.F.F.S, so that this sydrome can be defeated once and for all. 

God bless the victims of D.E.A.D.R.A.T.S. 

Sincerely, 

Paul S. Rowland 

CEO and Head of R.I.P.O.F.F.S. fund raising