Rowland Rowland Rowland

KeepThemDoggiesRowland.com

If I have said it once – well – then I’ve said it - “NO MORE PETS”. While this sentiment is often met with a sarcastic chuckle by the female members I allow to reside within my domicile, I mean it this time – NO MORE PETS! I have many reasons for why I am at my wits end on this subject. These reasons vary from the failed promises of overly eager female children who claim they will happily and diligently care for the animals they so desperately need, to my unwillingness to endure the death of another beloved pet (my cat Spooky Joe). Other reasons include my weariness of paying the boarding fees just to go out of town on vacation, as well as the incessant, irritating barking to which I have to loudly vocalize a request to my daugther to forcablly quiet the animal. However, the biggest and most glaring reason is the long, wide, barren strip of yard that forms the trail from the patio to the back fence where, once upon a year ago, many blades of grass, along with there many grassy-like family members, dwelled within the rich, fertile soil of my once green backyard.  This paradise of rich, green color use to be a bastion of a peaceful community of soft, luscious grass that you could walk on with your barefeet without mud or dirt accumulating on the bottoms of your feet. At least, that was the way it was until……Louie, the grass-destroying, mangler of household items and wooden stairs came to live with us. This latest canine addition to the Rowland repertoire of small, living, furry things running around my house has caused more destruction than an American Battilion on D-Day. Now for those of you who know Louie he seems, at first glance, to be a cute, cuddlely little thing that is lovable and kind. But inside this small, furry canine beast beats the heart of a yard destroying, toy mangling, child pouncing menance to the world. He has wreaked so much havoc that my 4 yr wishes him to “go away” and ne’er return(alittle pirate spelling there). And ever since that day, I have been trying to impress upon the younger female family member the necessity of sending the dog to the farm. Much to my shagrin, she has stubbornly disinclined to acquiesce to my requests (means-No) even though we both know of her true desire is not to have to attend to the animal at 6am.

Now, let’s fast forward a year. The backyard is in shambles, the dog is unruly and being cared for less and less by the female child, and my wife has some how managed to make getting rid of the dog, the dog I vehemently objected to, my problem. Hmmmm….life is funny sometimes. Anyway, the on-going arguement over the dog has obvioiusly not ceased it is just at a stalemate.

Anyway, this is only the setup to the real story. Now, Declan is my son, as most of you already know. He is a cute, kind lad of 4yrs who has a tendency to make some rather odd request at times. He knows that I no longer want to add animals to the Rowland repetiore of small, living, furry things running around my house. We have had many deep discussions regarding the dog, and various other animals, living with us. I have expressed to him many times they need to go live somewhere else. He generally laughs, agrees(really without know what he is agreeing to) and we go play Star Wars. 

I pride myself on the fact that Declan and I have a close relationship complete with secret handshakes and traditions that only he and I partake it (its a pirate/jedi thing). So it truly surprised me when he asked for a pet. At first, I explained to him that it was against, not only the Jedi Code, but also the Pirate Code to ask daddy for another pet. He disagreed, stating the Jedi and Pirate code don’t have anything to do with him receiving a pet, and that he would be happy to take care of the pet(where have I heard that one before – Brittney).

I am not sure where he came up with the idea of wanting a pet of his own. After all, he has made it 4 years without requesting to add another inconveinence to my household. Why now??? As I have said, my first inclination was to say ‘No’ – especially after I heard the type of animal he was requesting. We had many discussions over the next week where we agreed, I thought, that having more animals should be against the Jedi/Pirate code. At this point, I thought the crisis was abated. I was wrong. For two solid weeks, all Declan did was talk about acquiring this pet. He had lapsed back to his previous position that the code had nothing to do with obtaining a pet, and he became insistant on having one.

After many days of pleading, begging, prodding, negotiating, arguing, and finally puppy dog eyes and a sullen look, I finally gave in to my son and bought another pet to add to the Rowland repetoire of small, living, furry things running around my house. Obviously, it is no secret that I was against these creatures, but they grew on me. Freckles and Josey are cute, adorable little animals with dark eyes and soft fur. I know what you’re thinking – Ahhh! That is so sweet – you bought your son cute, baby cats. Yes, I did – except for the cat part.

Oh, I forgot to tell you what they are. I know your thinking, “If it’s not a cat, it must be a hamster or gerbile”. And you would be………………well…………… wrong. Freckles and Josey are actually a more intelligent version of the rodent family commonly the cause of loud screams from women seeking shelter atop kitchen chairs upon seeing one. Yes, Freckles and Josey are your garden variety  Rattus norvegicus domesticus, or domesticated rat. I know - big surprise!

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 17th, 2007 at 5:55 pm and is filed under Paul. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.